I have a cockatiel named Ciel, and he has really been comfortable with me after years of owning him. He backs away from me but will still step up. He likes my mother a lot and gets really happy when he hears her voice. How do I fix a relationship with my bird if I ruined it? What things should I not do?
Hi Katelyn,
One thing about birds is they like who they like. In the wild, mates are carefully chosen. In captivity, birds are expected to bond with the human who picks them. Generally this works – most birds have the outlook of loving the one they are with. But it isn’t unusual at all for a bird to pick someone out of the blue to really, really like. We don’t know why, but it can certainly hurt your feelings if your bird shows a preference to someone else. It’s just a matter of nature and not something that can be controlled. However, Cockatiels have a tendency to form an obsession with an object or person to the point of it being unhealthy because it is all they want. And when it comes to people, it can often be a type, such as preferring women, or a certain hair color, or type of voice, or body type. So I’m not suggesting that you bar your bird from being around your mom, but it will certainly be harder for you to handle Ciel when he can hear or see her. Cockatiels can react hormonally to the sound of their mate. So this is likely the basis to how he reacts to your mother’s voice. Now that you understand the basis of his behavior, you can learn how to have a better relationship with him. If her voice is higher or lower than yours, try using a similar voice when you speak to him and see how he reacts. I would try to have him where he can be focused on just you when you want to handle him. Don’t ever try to grab him – birds are prey animals so grabbing from behind is what a predator would do. And when you do handle him, limit any petting to head scratches. Petting him on the body can trigger his hormones and cause behavior problems. His liking your mother doesn’t mean you have done something to shake his trust in you, it probably is just his preference. Always be kind and speak kindly to him, and never try to reprimand him – birds do not respond to negative reinforcement like yelling or punishment. Always reward him for doing what you ask, and ignore him if he exhibits unwanted behavior. Below are a couple of links to help you better understand his body language and tips on training:
Thank you for asking Lafeber,
Brenda
