Hi Benjamin,
I’m sorry you are having this experience. I do want to start off by saying that it would be cruel to separate these birds – but I will explain. The thing about birds as pets is that they are an exotic pet. They are not domesticated like a dog or cat, even though they are bred in captivity. It’s no different than breeding other wild animals in captivity like tigers or lions – they still have their wild instincts. What this means is you really don’t know what your relationship will be like with a pet bird. While I agree the pet shop should have better explained about a bonded pair, you also have the responsibility to fully research any pet you are considering. Pet birds go through changes as they get older, and things like hormones can result in behavioral issues. Owning a bird is a constant learning curve, and you will very likely have to consult with a behaviorist or learn about behavior as the bird gets older.
As to the pair you have, I think the best option would be to find them another home. Since the pet store gave you a good price at two birds for the price of one, they clearly felt strongly that these two birds are closely bonded and need to stay together. Maybe they would be willing to trade you one bird for returning the pair. It’s worth explaining the misunderstanding to them and giving them a chance to please a customer. As to the pair, there is absolutely nothing unhealthy about their relationship. I realize it doesn’t suit you, but these birds have a perfectly natural bond. Cockatiels are like many bird species in that they mate for life. Once a pair bonds, they are seldom out of visual contact, and never out of vocal contact. They protect each other and take care of each other. It’s their natural instinct not to want to be very far from each other. This pair is never going to meet your expectations as pets, and it isn’t fair to them to try to make them conform to what you want. Splitting them up would be devastating to them, and it is very unlikely to solve your problem of not having a pet you can handle. If they were separated but still kept in the same home, they will call to either other constantly. It will be very stressful and unhealthy for them. If you were to give one away, each bird would suffer without the other. You are likely to end up with an unhappy neurotic bird. They are not going to suddenly be sweet pets because of being separated. Birds can grieve for a lost mate for a long time, and some never fully get over the loss of a mate. And since this would be caused by a human, neither bird will trust a human after being torn away from each other. They are not going to be good pets together, either. Their bond will grow stronger and eventually they will not want to be handled. When given the choice, a bird will almost always choose another bird over a person. You need to start again with a single bird – one that can bond with you and be a companion for you. This bonded pair shouldn’t be punished or have to suffer because of misinformation. Unfortunately most pet shop employees do not have a good understanding of pet bird behavior. If the shop will not take them back, ask about any cockatiel breeders in the area. A cockatiel breeder is very likely to be interested in a bonded pair for breeding, and might trade you a young cockatiel. I hope you are able to resolve this and keep this pair together as this is the only right thing to do in this situation.
Thank you for asking Lafeber,
Brenda
