Ask Lafeber

How Do I Get My Lorikeet to Like Me Again?

I recently bought my lorikeet from I store I work at. We had all raised this bird from when it was first brought in only a few days old. Me and my other coworkers helped feed him and hand tame him.

Him and I got along great, so when it was time to sell him at our store and none of my coworkers could take him I did.

him and I would play together all day whenever I was around him at work. And despite moving him abruptly from the store to my house, a whole new environment, for the first 12 hours he was more than happy to sit on my shoulder and fly into my hands.

That night however I went out drinking with my coworkers and unbeknownst to me my friends came to mine to decorate it and surprise me for Christmas. I came home that night very drunk and probably rather loud, never aggressive when drunk – just very chatty, and that’s when I saw my house decked out in flashing fairy lights and a Christmas tree. My friends then showed up and I introduced them to my bird. They hadn’t opened the cage without me but in my intoxicated state I didn’t take into account how this already stressful situation to him would only be made worse with three new people to meet.
However, he got along wonderfully with them and showed no signs of fear or aggression.
The next morning when I got up to greet him he had completely changed. Although he seemed still to be comfortable with one of my friends, who had ended up staying the night, he didn’t want to be even near me and would back away any moment I got close.
Its the day after this and he’s still cautious around me. I would understand if he was a new bird and didn’t know me but I’ve been there the entire time he’s grown up.
I leave his cage door open while I’m at home to give him elements of freedom (although he doesn’t explore unless he is is scared out of his cage, which has only happened by accident or by me being too close to him when putting food in his food bowls). I’ve started just keeping my distance and whistling back to him whenever he whistles and I got some fresh fruit to put in his food as a treat but I don’t know what happened or what else I can do.
Another important note I must add is when training him, if he would ever bite too hard (explorative bites are fine but just when he doesn’t realise his own strength) I/we would set him away or lightly – firmly tap his head. Never harming him but letting him know his bites aren’t appreciated. He never reacted badly from this while growing up but I remember tapping him on the head while I was drunk and I suppose I could have tapped him too hard? Usually I would doubt it but I genuinely cant think of anything else I could have done to warrant this behaviour from him.
Anyway, I would just like to know if there was any way I could start to build up trust with him again? Or if this is normal and I shouldn’t be worried.

Sorry for such a long submission, I just thought many elements of this story might turn out to be important to figuring this out and I didn’t wanna leave anything out.

Hi Finn,

I appreciate your candor, and yes, it does help. People often think they know everything they did while drinking, but the facts are, they don’t. I used to manage a troupe of parrots that were strolling entertainment with handlers at events. They didn’t do tricks, they were only there to mingle and interact with the guests. Over the years I observed that the birds were great with most guests, but wanted nothing to do with anyone who was drunk. They can sense that you are not in control when drunk, and it makes them feel insecure. The handlers were not supposed to drink, but we had a situation where one did, and the bird jumped off his arm as soon as another handler got close enough, and refused to go back to the drunk handler. So yes, something happened to shake his trust in you. And before that, strangers came into your house and hung up scary things and scared him, even though scaring him was unintentional. Parrots are prey animals, so being grabbed at makes them feel like a predator is trying to get them. And some of the decorations and lights may have created shadows that are scary. It’s a lot of stimulation, even for a hyper bird like a Lory. Just give him time and don’t push him to interact. Offer treats, talk to him, sit near him with the cage open and as long as you don’t grab or reach for him, he should eventually trust you again. Also look at the decorations and see if any are scaring him or could look scary to a bird. Anything that  makes shadows or movement can be scary, like a predator trying to catch him from above or behaving. Lorikeets are very social, so I think he will be OK, but he needs time to decide you are still safe to be around.

Thank you for asking Lafeber,

Brenda