My cockatiel is 6 months old and I got him not that long ago as my birthday he gets along well with my boyfriend but with me he wants absolute nothing to do with me and I’ve done nothing to him I always talk calm to him and give him attention please help me
Hi Kimberly,
Pet birds like cockatiels are not the same as a cat or dog – they are a wild species even though they are bred in captivity. They act on instinct. Nothing they do is personal – they can enjoy a human as a companion, but they are not domesticated to be a companion for humans like dogs & cats. Their instinct is to only have a bond with one other bird, which means they have little to no contact with other birds in the flock. Many pet birds end up choosing one person to bond with, and aren’t interested in other people. And many have a preference of either men or women. This doesn’t mean the bird will never like you. It may be that your boyfriend is more comfortable handling birds than you are, and the cockatiel senses this and trusts him more. You may be feeling jealousy or some resentment that the bird likes your boyfriend when he is supposed to be your bird, and the cockatiel can pick up on your feelings and not trust you fully. For you to form a bond, it would be best if you are the only one who takes care of the bird and handles him. This gives him a chance to know you better and trust you. If he already prefers your boyfriend, and can be with him, he has no incentive to be a pet for you. I never recommend that someone pick out a bird for someone else, because birds do have their own idea of who they like, and often they do not change. If your boyfriend gave you the bird, then most likely he chose this bird because it liked him and seemed like a nice bird. But now you have the problem where you have a bird that prefers your boyfriend. But if someone else gave you the bird, or you picked him out, then this may go back to you needing to be more comfortable around him, so he can trust you. They sense when you are scared of them, and this makes them not trust you. If you all live together, it will be tough to change the bird’s mind. You could pick out your own cockatiel that likes you and lets you handle him. But if you do this, each bird needs his own cage, or they will bond and not like people. I know this is all very complicated, but I’m going to give you links to our pages on behavior and training, so you can better understand how to approach this.
Thank you for asking Lafeber,
Brenda
